Decisions, Decisions. So many to make right now, and I don’t even know where to begin. There are doors to open or close in every aspect of my life: school, work, personal, medical. I feel lost in a sea of indecision. How will I ever sort through all of this and find my life at the end? Or more importantly, will I be happy when I do find it? I guess if i am not I will just have a whole new set of doors to choose from.

“P” Day is Here!

Today, January 17th, is “Promise Day”! Before you go scrambling to find a calendar, relax…I invented it. By now I’d say puffed up New Year’s resolutions have whithered back down into realities. Long term goals are still looming large. But here is a chance to committ to something and make it stick. Make a promise today. Promises can be made to yourself or others. They can be big, small, serious or ridiculous. You can make one, or 7 or 100. Share or not. Care or not. This isn’t about me…it’s about you. I would encourage you to write them down somewhere, the action tends to make you think a little more and remember a little better. Well, that’s it, pretty simple I’d say. Have an absolutely wonderful Promise Day! 🙂

Here is me all day: *…(breathe)…(sigh)…(look at the clock)…(breathe)…*

It’s a little something I like to call, “TECH SUPPORT SUCKS!!!” Seriously, this is day 2 in the battle against Pacific Bell dsl. In fact, I am holding “for the next available technician” even as I type. Before I go into this rant full force, let me just say that these ppl, all 27,000 that I have talked to in the last 2 days, have been exceptionally courteous, just irritatingly uninformed and decidedly useless! (This is not an attack on the individuals, i’m sure they are very nice and treat their pets well.) Anyway, so here I am experiencing technical difficulties, which I have been saying all along was a software problem, which has now been corroborated. But I can’t tell you the countless idiots that asked me where I had the modem plugged into. HELLO FRIGGIN’ MORON! There are 3 damn cords that come out of this blasted piece of equipment: a power cord, an ethernet cable, and a phone cord. It’s not like you can mess that up. “Hmmm, I bet this power cable goes into the phone jack…” NOT!

Okay, here’s the next thing…what part of “I’m on a Mac” don’t you understand? Here are the some of the questions I got asked:
“Do you see those little computer screens in the right corner of the task bar?”
I’m on a Mac.
“Are you using the right click?”
I’m on a Mac.
“Go to ‘Add/Remove Programs'”
I’m on a Mac.
“See the ‘Start’ menu in the left corner?”

Good thing I can tell the difference between a Mac and a PC or I’d really be screwed. Hey, maybe I should get into tech support, I can BS and tell people to look for things that aren’t there, then politely explain that, “It sounds like you need to talk to our (fill in the blank) dept. Here I’ll patch you through” and then hang up. Simple. I wonder how much it pays to frustrate ppl for a living.

Anyway…”We appreciate your patience. Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line and your call will be answered in the order it was received.”

Okay, it hurts to blink. I have the world’s biggest headache today. Actually, I had it last night and it decided to stick around. So I’ve loaded up on advil and I am braving the day of work that awaits. However, if the day of work doesn’t happen to fill up the whole day and I still feel like crap, I’m going home.

Feelings really get me sometimes. Ever feel something of a tangible intensity? It usually starts in the chest, and if you sit quietly and close your eyes for a moment you can feel it spread. A warmness fills your torso and moves through your arms and legs. It flows like a slow-moving trickle of liquid emotion to all of your extremities and out to the very tips of your fingers and toes. Then all of a sudden it rises to the surface of your skin, almost feels like a sunburn. The feeling can be overwhelmingly good, bad or unrecognizable. I usually take any opportunity to feel those intense emotions, it helps me to know the fullness of life.

I am feeling much more alive today. I took a nice 2 hour nap, mmmmm sleep is sooo good. I need to eat something, my stomach grumbles are becoming audible and I haven’t eaten since breakfast.

A word about interviews. I’ve had 2 this week that have been unlike any I’ve ever had before. One guy asked me what movies I’d seen recently and what I liked about them…cool. One guy had candles on his desk and the lights off, it was kind of like interviewing in a spa massage cubicle. They both wanted to know what I knew about their companies…lesson one:do your homework. Even though they didn’t expect me to know very much, I think it would’ve been to my benefit to know some of the names better. Anyway, it’s all looking very promising.

Okay, I am exhausted. I am weak-in-the-knees, dizzy, and spent the entire day zoned out. I have got to rest. I haven’t been sleeping well or enough all week. I feel like there is something I should be saying or a story I should tell, but for the life of me I can’t think of what it might be. I’ll get back to you all after my brain has rested. *passes out*

Ever sit in bumper to bumper traffic for 2 hours, in the pouring rain, then get lost in the ghetto for another 1.5 hours, all while a major metropolis is flooding right before your eyes? I don’t recommend it. And no, I’m not done battling the traffic and weather for the night either. *sigh*

I have 4 interviews set up for my internship. It’s the wierdest feeling to me to actually be reaching for those stars I have been gazing at for so long. Of course my internship will not be glamorous, and it probably won’t hand me a movie deal, but hey…it’s a start. I’m excited..and a little scared, but I’m ready.