My to-do list has been growing and not shrinking for a very long time. You know, that can be kind of daunting. I know it’s there all the time and even when I am exhausted from working all day long, I still cannot fully relax. I cleared a major hurdle by getting my house clean (by my standards) and now I can manage cleaning things out one step at a time, without causing chaos. Also, Manda is helping with the filing mess we have on our hands since I have not filed anything for the last 2 years. That will help a lot. The next big step will be packing up the stuff we don’t have an immediate need for and hauling it off to storage. Our apartment is a bit small for all of our stuff.
Anyway, I can see a break in the clouds. I am happy.
“What will this day be like…I wonder. What will my future be…I wonder.
It could be so exciting to be out in the world to be free. My heart should be wildly rejoicing. Oh what’s the matter with me? I’ve always longed for adventure to do the things, I never did. And here I’m facing adventure. Then why am I so scared. A captain with seven children. What’s so fearsome about that? Oh I must stop these doubts all these worries. If I don’t I just know I’ll come back. I must dream of the things I am seeking. I am seeking the courage I lack. The courage to serve them with reliance. Show them I’m worthy without defiance. Show them I’m equal and while I show them, I’ll show me. So let them bring all of their problems I’ll do better than my best. I have confidence they’ll put me to the test. Besides which you see I have confidence in me. Somehow I will impress them. I will be firm but kind. And all those children, Heaven bless them. They wil look up to me and mind me. With each step I am more certain. Everything will turn out fine. I have confidence the world will all be mine. Besides which you see I have confidence in me. I have confidence in sunshine. I have confidence in rain. I have confidence that spring will come again. Besides which you see I have confidence in me. Strength doesn’t lie in numbers, strength doesn’t lie in wealth, strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers. When you wake up, wake up! It can be all I trust I leave my heart to. All I trust becomes my own. I have confidence in confidence alone…..besides which you see, I have confidence in meeeeee!”
Rogers & Hammerstien. Sometimes I don’t know what to say, but I’m glad others do.
I usually have the day off on Fridays, but since this is the first week of the term I have to work. We have class on the first Friday to make up for a holiday later in the term. This term is posing a lot of interesting challenges. We are almost cleared up on most of the technical problems I have been having (no software, not enough computers, etc.) The main challenge is now in my control and that is finding an interesting and effective way to get this information across to the students. Not the easiest thing. I have one very small class and one huge class. I need to get my head around a plan of attack. I need to not worry about, well a lot of things that I tend to worry about and just do the job at hand. I can do this. I will do this.