I had an interesting day yesterday. Nothing major happened. I got laundry done talked to a few people on the phone. And went out to dinner with Jess.
I miss hanging out with Jess. Manda and I were talking about how wierd it is that as you get older you end up having more and more really close friends, that you don’t see that often.
As you get older there seem to be a lot of things that seem wierd, or are not the way you thought they would be. I am getting more used to this phenomenon, but at times you just wish there was some logic in place for the very common things that no one really ever tells you about.
I am enjoying learning more about how life really is, even though it isn’t easy sometimes. But somehow I feel comforted by the fact that it is possible to be genuinely happy. I think this is a new realization for me. It is possible to be healthy and happy and fulfilled. That doesn’t mean the storms of life won’t blow you off course from time to time. And this also comes with the realization that nothing is ever perfect. But that becomes one of the things you learn to accept. Sometimes you have to step out of your skin and really look at your life objectively. And when you do…don’t you really have a lot to be happy about?
For some reason, my eyes just do not want to open today. I had to make some coffee here at work just to make it thru these first three hours of my day.
I have a bit of work to do around the house. Today is laundry…woooo! And I am going to keep doing pilates until I stop hurting.
I need to make a list. I also get to hang out with Jess tonight. so that will be nice.
Onward with the day………
I am noticing some antagonistic behavior around me at work. None of it is aimed toward me. Actually it is students tearing down administration. Some are even talking about filing lawsuits. I am not sure how this is going to pan out, but I must say I am not really worried about it. The students have valid complaints but the way they are going about this is very childish. They are antagonizing an administration that is very open to comment from both faculty and students. And I have to say, while this is not really an ideal learning environment, it really isn’t bad.
Any lab that is used by a number of students throughout the day is bound to have severe technical problems. But I have had worked places that were much slower to act on these types of concerns. And I really have to say that it is extremely naive to think that a student going to a technical college can afford a lawyer as good as the school’s lawyer. So many people at this school work insane hours just to keep the place in basic operation. And many of us are doing the best we can.
I think it goes without saying that traveling to the otherside of the planet gives you a whole new perspective on life and travel and people and the earth as a whole. People say, “Wow, can you believe you were on the other side of the world?” And in all honestly I should be feeling the vastness of this experience. How far I went should really have the impact of enormity on me, and yet, I feel like the world is smaller than I thought. And way more different than I thought. Being on the other side of the world was easy, it just took a bit of time. But it’s laying on a beach in Orange County, with my face two inches from the sand that makes everything so incomprehensibly large. It’s all about perspective I guess.
Love you, my dear husband, more than I can say.
I think I am growing more impatient in some ways. Sometimes I just feel like people are not even trying anymore. So many times in the day I find myself thinking, “I don’t have time for this.” Still in other ways I know I have a ton of time and things like slow traffic and letting someone in on the freeway are very easy. I seem to bounce between extremes of being on task and in a “work” zone and other times it takes quite a lot to get me riled.
What is this? Am I bipolar? Sometimes I can feel the peace and calm pulsing lazily through my veins and sometimes I feel so over whelmed I think myself into a headache. So bizarre. Maybe I am just readjusting from my vacation mentality. Several times while we were in Australia I felt like there was nothing in the world that could get my pulse off the floor. I was just sooo mellow. So maybe I am trying to strike a balance.
You know what else? I often find myself feeling guilty for being relaxed. Like there is so much to do I should be stressing out…
Maybe I am just on my way to a new level of understanding and these are the bumps along the way.
Okay, I have been missing Grease for a while now. I think I may have to go buy it. It has been years since I’ve seen it. So long ago, when I was in high school my friend Angela and I bonded over this musical cult classic. Things were so simple then and we were so different. I see that now, but somehow we found an understanding in each other that none of our other friends afforded us. We used to say, “If everyone thought like us life would be so much easier.” I still talk to her now, from our far away places in life. We are both married, but she has 2 kids and a house. She jumped into that “grown-up” part of life much earlier than I did. But we are both very happy with where we have ended up. I would love to drag her off somewhere for a weekend and just bond. Talk all night like we used to before husbands and kids and making dinner. I just wonder what it would be like. I wonder how differently we think now.
I am back. It was such an awesome trip. A wonderful experience. I used that word a lot while I was there, because more than anything else I felt like that’s what the trip was about. Not the time, not the food, not the movie…the experience. Meeting fantastic new people, eating different food (with that one herb that they put on everything that I can’t figure out what it is), calling familiar things by odd names, and then there were the unfamiliar things like white chocolate kitkats and “lemonade” which is really sprite, there were surreal animals that we were close enough to touch at some points, beautiful landscapes, and beaches that looked like something that was pulled from a Calfornia shore except for the clear blue water, flies that are brash and will leave you alone when they feel like it despite your waving hand, tastey wines (of which we brought home 9 bottles), sprawling grasslands that it seems we don’t have the space for here, too high prices (which after you did the conversion wasn’t all that bad, but as a penny pincher I have to complain), desserts that weren’t always that sweet, but tartare sauce that was, more fish than you could shake a stick at and bay bugs (which we learned were crayfish. like a mini lobster), lots and lots of real butter and real cream, an afternoon wind called the “Fremantle Doctor” that kept us all from loosing our cool due to the heat, fighting my own linguistics which tried to throw me into a mock Australian accent (at times my American accent sounded so foriegn to even me), little tiny cars that the US has never seen the likes of, and being used to seeing those cars on the other side of the road, long long flights that give you a sense that you really are going somewhere, and that make you so glad for that post flight shower that you fantasize about spending the remainder of your trip in the bathroom, ockas (or maybe it’s Okka) and dingos, and roos, and yobbos, and bogens, and bikies, and greenies, and brekkie, and stubbies, and tinnies, and cuppas, and long blacks, and flat whites, and passiona, and lift, and biscuits, and crisps, and chips, and potato mash, and petrol, and sooooo much that is sooooo different. I could never equate the trip to anything other than a whole experience. It was fantastic.